Toxic toads invasion reaches Australia’s Darwin

JUMBO TOADOh my, that was fast! A month ago we reported on toxic toad researchers stationing themselves about 40 miles (64km) east of Australia’s port city of Darwin, in a region where the cane toads had not yet spread. And now these toxic toads have invaded the city of Darwin!

Residents in Australia’s Northern Territory are staging a day of action to stop marauding cane toads. They are being encouraged to hunt and destroy these toxic pests, which have spread in plague-like numbers across tropical Australia. The cane toads were introduced from South America 70 years ago in a failed attempt to eradicate cane beetles.

They are big, ugly creatures and their advance has taken them to the outskirts of Darwin. Residents are being urged to defend the front-line on “Not In My Backyard Day”, which is sponsored by the Northern Territory government.

Federal MP Dave Tollner says that the toads deserve no mercy. “I suggested that people should hit them with golf clubs or cricket bats or, you know, lumps of wood, whatever was at hand.

“Other people have suggested that you should put them in a box and then gas them with the exhaust of your car. The RSPCA also suggests chemical euthanasia. “You know, to me it seems far easier just to flog them over the head with a lump of wood,” he says.

The toads have become a serious hazard to local wildlife. Crocodiles have died after eating their toxic skin, while lizards have been no match for them either.

Safe to say that cane toads have few friends in Australia’s lush tropics. “I think they’re really disgusting and the only fun bit about them is squashing them and killing them,” a schoolgirl says. Asked whether she thinks that is a bit mean, she replies: “No, not to me… because cane toads are disgusting!”

Australia’s RSPCA believes that these warty creatures are a menace and should be destroyed. It recommends that they be smeared with haemorrhoid cream. It contains a local anaesthetic that induces a coma. The toads are then placed in a freezer and the job is done humanely.

Guess we’re the only ones who think it’s a bit ironic that the RSPCA’s official website claims their mission is “To prevent cruelty to animals by actively promoting their care and protection.” With a vision “To be the leading authority in animal care and protection.” But that probably only counts if you can cuddle the animal. To be fair, these toads are killing off whole eco systems and this “squish the toads” plan is backed by the government. Have fun then.

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2 Responses to “Toxic toads invasion reaches Australia’s Darwin”

  1. » Army called in to fight toxic toad invasion in Australia - wowozanga.com Says:

    […] Oh wow, this is getting way out of hand! In February we reported the evolved toxic toads had researchers stationing themselves about 40 miles (64km) east of Australia’s port city of Darwin, a region where the cane toads had not yet spread. A month later these toxic toads invaded the city of Darwin… […]

  2. lol Says:

    man fuck darwin

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